Fortress of Solitude or Introversion?

20 November 2010

So I was reading an article by the [Redacted] Guy titled: Fortress of Solitude -- Are More of Us Getting Stuck Alone?

If you haven't read this article, stop now and read it before going any further with mine. Once you're done reading the article, read through some of the user comments at the end and then come back to my article here.

I enjoyed the article and can relate. I myself am an "island dweller" as [Redacted] Guy explains. I have been single my whole life and for a while I longed to have a girlfriend but every girl I wanted to date rejected me. There hasn't been many girls as I suppose I am a bit picky. But after years of this and trying to impress girls or just being myself and see what happens, I have yet to be successful in wooing a fair maiden.

I'm at the point in my life where I don't really care too much about it and I don't seek the companionship of a female nearly as much as I used to. As a man I think logically as opposed to going on emotions. So the more I think about it, I realize that I am quite happy in my life and the order it is in. I'm very set in my ways and I'm afraid of bringing someone else in close to me that will ruin my way of life. Call it selfishness if you want but this is my life and I am choosing to live it the way I see fit.

If the right lady comes along and things do work out, there are things I am willing to compromise on as any relationship should do. But there are other things I am not willing to compromise on. For example I loathe alcohol and I don't want to be with anyone who drinks, regardless of how much or how little it may be.

But as I read through the aforementioned article, I couldn't help notice the various levels of introversion among the people who left comments and from [Redacted] Guy. Many of them wrote about how they enjoy their alone time and how they wouldn't give it up for anything. It's classic introversion and maybe they don't even know it.

I'm sitting here on my couch with my MacBook Pro on my lap typing this blog and it is perfectly quiet in the house except for the ticking of my clock and my cat running around being goofy right now. The thought of having another person here right now is aggravating to me, interrupting my silence and altering my time alone. Some of the commenters in the article mentioned Kathryn Hepburn saying something like men and women should live by themselves and only visit once in a while. I don't know if she really said that or not, but I like the idea. Call me weird, but if I were married, I think that I might enjoy it if we each had our own separate bedrooms to sleep in. Sex aside, we could sleep comfortably in bed without waking up with the other persons foot lodged under your back or enduring the snoring of the other if they do it. Once in a while we could have a "sleep over" in one of our rooms for that cuddling time I suppose, but by in large, sleep alone. I really cherish my sleep and I find that I need 8-9 hours of quality sleep if I am going to function well the next day. I cannot imagine having to give up my sleep due to problems with the other person in bed, if there were problems.

I think the fortress of solitude [Redacted] Guy speaks of and his commenters agree with is really just a part of introversion. Us introverts are capable of living independently and often enjoy our alone time. Sometimes it's difficult for us to live with other people or have close relationships with them.

I've mentioned in other articles that I am opposed to having my own children. As of late, I am wondering if I even want to get married. I haven't ruled it out completely but I am questioning it. I know that goes against the traditional views of most people and Christianity but I am not so sure that it's right for me.

The woman I could end up marrying would really have to be that "special someone" for me to accept me for who I am. She would have to grant me plenty of my alone time, and not to be mean, but she cannot be annoying to me. Too many women I know annoy the fire out of me and when I try to imagine being married to them solely for the sake of argument, I think that I would rather shoot myself than be married to some of these women. You probably think that sounds mean, but that is how I feel. Aren't I entitled to be happy? I don't want to be annoyed, I want to be happy. I know there has to be women out there that aren't annoying; I just need to find out where they're at.

So as an introvert, my fortress of solitude is my home and I enjoy the fact that it's just me and my cat. Once in a while I will have company over, but I am gratefully relieved when they leave.

I think the best type of woman for me is another introvert. She would be someone who can understand me, and I understand her. We would have our own fortress's of solitude whether it be separate bedrooms, or a different set of rooms altogether.

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