How to Score With An Introvert

13 September 2013

By request, from a blog follower of mine, and also a personal friend, here is a post about introversion, of which, it has been a long time.

Although I do not have a significant other at the moment, I found this article by my favorite introverted author, Sophia Dembling, to be spot on.

Her opening comments about being proposed to in a stadium full of people, or having restaurant staff gathering around you singing happy birthday to you causing you to die a thousand little deaths were great examples of how I would feel if such a thing happened to me.

I recall one time attending social function at church where I normally had never attended before. When I walked into the room, everyone nearly stopped, started cheering and saying aloud how amazing, and great it was for me to actually show up. I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable at their reaction that I had everything I could do to keep from releasing a deep sigh, turning about and leaving. But, I persevered and stayed a while despite the awful first experience. That was probably four or five years ago and I have not been back to that particular social function since.

More recently however, I attended a fabulous soirée for a local hospital celebration of becoming a Level II trauma center. It was a formal event where suit and tie were required. There were plenty of doctors there, naturally. The hospital CEO, judges, state representatives, senators and the like were there as well. I actually sat at a table with a judge, a senator and a representative. We chatted about things for a while, enjoyed dinner and listened to some improv speeches about the hospital's accomplishments.

I was able to easily cope with that particular situation because the event and nothing about the event revolved around me. I didn't have to say anything and most of the people that were there, were strangers to me. I actually get more uncomfortable when I am around a lot of people I actually know all at once.

When I was a kid growing up, I had two or three sets of friends and would hang out with them separately most of the time. But once in a while, we'd all get together at the same time and I didn't like that. At the time I didn't know why, but I knew I preferred being around smaller groups of friends.

Sophia's article goes on to list a few ideas to better show your love for your introverted significant other and I agree with them all. Less is more, quiet is great and together is better. Either a nice quiet time at home, cooking together or a wonderful getaway in a fancy hotel with plenty of room, and of course, a quiet atmosphere, would be just fine by me. Even just sitting outside in the crisp Fall weather together, observing the color of the season and watching the leaves fall and blow away while sipping on a warm drink would be time well spent together.

Take a few moments to read her article.

Download the pdf version with pictures here.